From August 2016 to September 2016 I briefly dated a colleague at work, called Matt. I’ll admit that he is not my usual type, but something drew me to him. I guess it could have been his sarcastic sense of humour, or the fact that he is a genuinely nice guy.
Matt and I went on two dates. They were pleasant enough, but the butterflies I hoped to feel weren’t there. No fluttering whatsoever. So, shortly after our second date I called things off. I had not long come out of a four year relationship and I knew deep down, Matt was not the guy for me.
Whenever Matt and I were on the same shift together, he would always wait for me so that we could walk out to the car park together. At first, this was pretty cute but after a while, it became quite trying because I knew as soon as we got to our cars, Matt would attempt to suck my face off and to be quite candid, grope a tits and ass. This grew to appear sleazy very fast.
So, I decided honesty is the best policy. I’m just not interested anymore.
I have been back on the dating scene, which hasn’t been entirely successful. Thus, people at work have asked me (quite a lot, I might add!) if I would give Matt another chance. My answer has been a rigid no. “But you used to really like him.” – Yes, this is correct. I did. But isn’t that the whole point of dating? That we explore that person in a different environment and see if there is something there worth pursuing. Well, I had two dates with Matt and this was enough for me to decide that actually, I have no romantic or sexual desire to be with this person. The best I can offer is friendship. So it does baffle me that my colleagues cannot seem to come to terms with that. I really cannot explain it any better than I just did.
I have done my best to make sure things aren’t awkward at work, and for a time they weren’t. Until, that is, when Matt caught wind that I had a date lined up with a guy I had met on Tinder. Matt then messaged me, a lot. He wished me the best of luck on my date, but then also said, “If it doesn’t work out, let me know.” Awkward.
The messages continued, some in attempt make conversation, some asked how he should get over me and other messages were him asking if there would ever be another chance for us. I felt guilty. I had been honest and hoped it would disappear, but Matt had developed feelings for me and this made me feel… well, shitty.
I have no intentions of hurting anybody. Ever.
I don’t know if Matt has received my message loud and clear, the messages are less frequent and he has not yet asked me about my date, which was now over 4 weeks ago. I’m glad that he hasn’t because I don’t want him to think that because my date was a flop, he’ll be back in there with a chance. There is 0% chance.
Dating is supposed to be fun, but the aftermath of unreciprocated feelings is a bloody bitch.